These are my musings and observations on my daily life, loves and the laughter that are all a part of my experience of living now in the shires of England.

Tuesday, 27 March 2012

Sadness suspends time

Being sad is like floating in zero gravity. There is nothing solid to grab on to, there is nothing firm around you. 

You are just freewheeling away from the sad event and, often, there is no desire to stop or go back. You just let go ...

Sadness, grief, upset, disappointment: all these emotions can lead to you being suspended above the path of your own life. Grief causes a metamorphosis. How do I know this? I know because I have grieved, I do grieve, I will grieve. (This is not an exercise in grammatical forms, this is a view at the reality of sadness.)

What I have realised is that there is no size to grief. No length, depth, shape or colour. Grief just is. With that in mind I am sending hugs and love to those who are grieving – including myself.

I do know, however, that all people handle grief differently.

For some there is an emotional breakdown that lasts beyond time ...

For others there is a management of the sadness at allotted times of the day and week. And for as many other people as there are in the world there are ways of managing or dealing with the arrival of grief in their lives.

It can be embraced, denied, accepted, shared or hated – just to name a few options.

After sharing some thoughts on her current state of sadness the other day, a dear friend said to me, “It’s time to zip back up my emotions and go and face the day.” I’m glad we can share these things together. It helps us to understand our separate journeys.

However, I wish we didn’t generally find the need to hide our sadness from each other (and ourselves) so much, because if we shared more then maybe we’d be able to understand and help each other more. That way we’d get through our time by spending more time together -and discover we have more in common than we thought, rather than by floating away with our own un-tethered grief. It might just help to restart the clock of life.

When faced with sadness it’s very hard to think about tomorrow. That’s only possible when you have hope in the future.

Grief will not go away, but we can walk with it rather than feeling that it had taken us captive from our life - especially when we walk with each other.

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