These are my musings and observations on my daily life, loves and the laughter that are all a part of my experience of living now in the shires of England.

Friday, 8 June 2012

Changing patterns

In June 1998 I wrote the following:

“The mountain inside my soul
Nobody cares but me
My fears follow me into my dreams at night”

One day I awoke from my sleep and was told I was talking as I slumbered. I had said, “I feel safe but not loved.”

I know what it is to be loved.

I know what it is to be safe.

I didn’t have them together at that time.

I do now.

To get from there to here I had to learn this fact: I must change my choices and my patterns to have a different outcome. I also found out that I can move forwards when I take responsibility for my feelings and choices.

When I feel broken I know that I don’t have to remain broken. I have the choice to pick up the pieces and make myself whole again. I do this by making different choices and by breaking my destructive patterns.

I have changed my patterns.

Any fears I have I air them in my waking hours and thus leave my sleep time to pure sleep. The changes abound.

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