There are times when I dream and forget, and there are times when I dream and remember. These two dreams were vivid and I awoke immediately after them. It was stupid o’clock in the morning, nevertheless I wrote them both down in full. This is a transcript of my early morning dream notes:
Friday, 13 July 2012
Dream 1 - The Gatekeeper
"At a spiritual retreat I am asked to pray – the message has been relayed from the guru leading the next session. I decline at first because I’m nervous; I haven’t prayed in public for a long time. Then I ask what she would like me to say, what topic should I refer to, Who should I direct the prayer to. I say I usually pray to God not to the “Spirit” – something I have heard whilst at the retreat I believe. The co-ordinator says I should pray to the ‘Gatekeeper’. I accept the guidance and direction.
The ceremony is about to commence and the guru is sat on stage, deep in private conversation with her aide.
I approach her and gently tap her. She does not move her head from her position where she is talking in her assistant’s ear.
I lean in to whisper to her.
I nuzzle her temple. It feels so intimate – she stops talking and moves her head towards me applying the slightest pressure to me but without pushing me away. I flush with both embarrassment and joy.
I talk quickly into her ear –moving my lips to the side of her face.
I venture the question, “What would you like me to pray about?” after thanking her for choosing me. Her eyes – and mine – are closed but I know we are both smiling: me nervously, she with pleasure.
“About the Gatekeeper ... of life” she murmurs. Her breath enters me in a warm and sensual way. I feel my knees buckle.
With reluctance I thank her and pull away.
It is only then that I am aware of the thousands of people silently watching me. I glide away off the stage to the wings where I sit to one side behind the heavy blue velvet curtains and try to compose myself.
A man with a microphone, who is just visible on stage, is talking to the gathered crowd. I breathe and open my eyes – seemingly for the first time – and look again at the guru. Suddenly I know the right thing to say and to do.
I know the structure of my prayer. I will talk to the Gatekeeper of life who has – in my mind – become a farmer. My life is a seed. That is my immediate conclusion. We are planted, we grow, we produce fruit from our lives in the form of new seeds: that is our harvest time. As I realise my part in the life cycle I smile with the man seated next to me. Although we do not know each other’s thoughts we accept the smile shared.
The guru later tells me that I have been blessed. Her whole speech was based on the farming analogy and when I prayed before she spoke I didn’t know that.
Touching her gave me insight."
(Within my dreams I time travel. I am here, then I am in the future, the past and then back to the present before I blink. I love dreams.)
Some women (and men) stand up for their convictions whatever the consequences. Thus it was with Vashti. I believe she may have been t...
Border Line I used to wonder About living and dying- I think the difference lies Between tears and crying. I used to wonder Abo...
Trauma is no respecter of gender, creed, ‘race’, sexuality, continent, weather system ... you get my drift? When trauma arrives it d...
I meet strangers all the time, but they do not often stay strangers. Frequently they become friends. Even those people that I meet ...
Happiness is sitting in the evening sunshine watching a vixen and her three cubs playing in the hedges. The cubs play with each other and r...