Tuesday, 15 July 2008
I’ve had time to think – not sure it’s a good thing as logically my mind is telling me it’s best to leave you alone. But I know that logic never had anything to do with love. I think it’s love that I’m experiencing. It could be obsession because it definitely is not [just] lust. Anyway, logically I cannot see anything in the future for you and I. …
Being alone … has given me the chance to remember the first days of our passion – and the last days. I want them again. I want you. I want to want you. It feels so good to desire you. When I [hear] any form of affection from you to me – I instantly react. Physically I am betrayed – but I love the feeling you ignite in me.
I don’t want anyone else but you …
I need to keep on loving you to keep on being me. …
I want my next real touch to be from you. …
My heart travels south in my body at the thought of you and my strongest pulse weeps at the sense of your touch.
Monday, 7 July 2008
I know ...
Desire enveloped me completely today. I could not breathe, think or move out of its control. I followed its call and flew to a height where I remembered being in you.
I lost myself for long deep moments and surfaced knowing only you. Bliss.
There is nothing quite like it – to go, disappear into you and lose all sense of being only to reappear from you, to you and know that I have touched perfection in those exquisite moments.
No wonder I always seek you out to repeat that sense of being totally lost and completely found in a captured second.
Time does not follow any linear path when desire is driving. Time loses shape, focus and order.
Right then, time belongs to never.
There is only you and me. Nothing else.
I can feel nothing apart from you and want nothing outside of you.
My complete existence is me in you in now.
My body turns inside out to be over you.
I know it is happening and yet still I marvel at the change in me. Each time I sense you wanting me, each time my desire overflows, I morph into pure emotion with no physical form to order me. Pulled, pushed and thrown by feelings that know no limit I flow upstream easily until I enter your source. Then, then – I am complete.
My desire kills me a little each time as I return exhausted but nothing prevents me from finding you immediately that my inside beat needs you. I will die over and over again just to live completely in that long perfect moment with you. In that moment my mind is suspended – all thought is banished and purple silence fills my being. I do not know what form my body takes, I have no idea where my limbs are, the only recognition I have is of a heat pulling me away from me into you, into the place beyond both of us where the nothingness that holds us is too beautiful to describe.
I know without knowing that outside of this moment we are separate entities. That knowledge passes quickly as the heat melds us fast together.
There is a noise - but the source cannot be identified – it is outside of now, outside of us or too deep inside to find. It is not important. Nothing matters beyond this. Desire has no competition but it still feels as if there has been some battle to reach this point.
Exhausted and happier than words – I slowly find my separate being entangled in yours. I regain my senses of touch and smell. Memory returns and time resumes its original shape.
Desire, however, had branded me from the inside. Right now, I am freely lost to you, for ever.
Copyright MHMorgan 2008
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