These are my musings and observations on my daily life, loves and the laughter that are all a part of my experience of living now in the shires of England.

Friday, 28 May 2010


My life needs my validation, no one else’s.

People will always criticize and naysay. That will never end.

The level of true effort on my part is known by me.

My inner strength is necessary to rise against the attacks. I can do this.

Resolve that you will not let them get to you.

Validate yourself.

If you like … it’s another opportunity to prove them wrong.

Thursday, 27 May 2010

Thinking ...

What every change you want in your life by just thinking about it you have started on the right path. You know that is already worth making the change. You know that you are worth it. Now start …

Tuesday, 25 May 2010

Identity questioned

Who are you?

Think about it. The question is not what do you do but WHO you are?

Is your identity one that you are comfortable living with or are you currently establishing a new one?

The question is not about your social status, your occupation, your ethnicity or your religion. The question is about your character and your inner construction of yourself. The person you are when you wake up in the middle of the night, the person you are when you see pain in another being, the person you are when you are laughing, the person you are when you are crying.

This question, for me, is about the person I am when I am alone but also the person I am when I am with friends, when I am with family, when I am shopping, when I find a wallet full of money, when I see a child on their own. It is at times like these that I am reminded of who I really am.

When asking myself this question there was a tinge of something resembling guilt in some areas and I was curious as to why I felt this. So I delved further, I questioned myself in another way.

Do you feel guilty about any aspects of your identity and if so (or if not) then why?

What drives you to be who you are each day?

Does anything about yourself make you feel inadequate?

Do you know why?

Who or what are you comparing yourself to?

How can you change that?

Who are you?

Friday, 21 May 2010

Integrity and principles

Sometimes our words and actions may affect others in a negative manner.

We can allow this to dominate our lives or we can choose to accept the matter for what it actually is. If your intention was kind and pure then I suggest that you rest easily and do not get deterred from your mission.

We ARE responsible for our actions and words. However, we are not expected to censor ourselves to the extent of altering our personality because we become afraid of maybe offending someone. If your heart is true then remember that in this world there will be some people - maybe many people – who may never support or encourage you: that is their choice. They may find your approach abrasive and too direct, they may regard you as misguided or hurtful. What is important is that you do not allow their growth journey to negatively impact on yours.

When situations occur you should already be conscious of your integrity and principles so that the event will not overturn you (you may suffer temporary derailment while you deal with the bruises of the attack but these will pass).

Pick yourself up, dust yourself (and your ego) off and return to your plan. If it wasn’t a good plan for you then you would have already made a different one.

Retain your standards and keep moving towards your goal.

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

Piloting your own life

Days are always busy. We get busy just living, merely existing and making ends meet can take up all our energies. It can get to such a situation that we no longer have any time available for the small pleasures of life because we are so overrun with the repetitive and necessary tasks that make up 21st century living. Working, paying bills, shopping, cooking, ironing, cleaning … after a while we can seem to be in a daze as we stumble through life always trying to catch up with something.

Managing resources, time and focus are all important as you become the pilot in your own life. You need to manage the small aspects of your life so that you can take the lead in your whole life.

It takes conscious effort to:




It is advisable to become the captain of your own life instead of getting lost in the trance that we sometimes accept as living. When you make the choice about your future you give yourself FREEDOM to be YOU.

This calls for consistency as you …

Manage the small, seemingly insignificant things in order to direct more important matters of life.”

(Dave Pelzer, Moving Forward)

We have to have an AMBITION and … work towards it.

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Be your own rock

Remain firm in your convictions.

Believe in the quest of your cause.

Keep on keeping on.

Make the changes bit by bit.

Take the lead in your own life by maintaining the commitment to yourself.

Simply focus on your goal and quietly and steadily move towards it; each day, every day.

STEP UP in your own life.

Sunday, 16 May 2010

A dominant past in the present

I’ve had events in my past and they have had a big impact on my life. This is not unreasonable. Some situations were related to life and death. Some were not. Nevertheless they were all major milestones in my personal experience. They were important to me then.

While taking time out for reflection I have come to the realisation that events from the past should not DOMINATE every aspect of our present lives: they have an affect on us but they should not take over what happens to us each and every new day.

If we allow past events to constantly dictate current actions then we are draining away all our energies to feed the past and not focussing on the present or moving to the future. We cannot allow the past to CONTROL us. It may be that we wallow in the mire of our past histories as an excuse not to be PRESENT in the present.

If you had any dreams before those events, find them again. Make them your focus.

If you were dreamless then it’s time to start dreaming about your future.

When you begin to look forward you will know the beauty that is hope, things will change and a better way of living will immediately be yours.

Thursday, 13 May 2010

Mind power: I think; therefore I am

Things happen. They happen all the time. Sometimes we don’t know they are happening so they don’t occupy our thoughts. They just happen. Independently of us.

Then … we hear about an event and we have a personal connection to it; it could be that someone we know is in a certain place, or that a person of our acquaintance has been reported to have said a particular thing.

Then our dormant minds rev up and this event – that we have neither witness or sometimes had confirmed – takes poll position in our minds in the race for air time. All our thoughts keep returning to this event. It becomes our main focus.

We worry and stress about something that has already happened. Independently of us. We worry and stress about something that we cannot change, influence, or alter in any way.


How does this affect us?

I heard that my nephew was on a long road journey late one night and my sister was concerned as he had not yet arrived home. He had been travelling all day, as he often does, but once I heard that it had been a while since he had been in contact I started to worry.

I asked myself if the worry made him arrive at his destination any more quickly. I asked myself what effect the worry was having on both my sister and I.

Later that evening I was pleased to hear that he had arrived safely but the fact is my worrying did not alter his travels in any way: it only altered me.

My mind was occupied with feelings of dread and concern – for no good reason. There were no negative weather conditions or traffic reports. My fears were groundless. It made me think that it is so easy to slip into a state of negativity as a normal situation.

It occurred to me that I need to train my mind’s power to be more positive.

I had the chance again this week to exercise my will when I heard some news that took me back to a time and situation in my recent past. Someone I used to be very close to told me about a change in their life. I was happy for them, and at the same time I was sad that I didn’t know about it earlier and also that our relationship was no longer the same. After a very short while (only a few hours - which I was pleased with) I had counselled myself back into a positive state and I reminded myself that when I didn’t know this occurrence I was progressing with life in a sensible and active manner.

The change in this person’s life had happened a long time before I knew about it and so it didn’t make any sense to start worrying about it just because it was ‘news’ to me. It had already happened. Independently of me.

If we are not careful we can spend too much time focussing on things we cannot change, and things that do not need to change. They have happened.

Our job, if you can call it that, is to learn to accept things, gracefully and quickly. We can make changes in our current life. We can plan for the future. Our futures.

We cannot change what has already happened. We cannot change how other people think and feel. They are independent of us.

Accept the now. Plan for the future.

Allow your mind to focus on the dawn of the new day and not to wallow in the dusk of what has already past.

Mind power is life power.

In my life it needs to remain positive.

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

Hope versus Fear

Which is stronger? Hope or Fear?

Hope pulls you towards your goal.

Fear pushes you away from any point.

Hope encourages you to believe.

Fear implants doubt in everything.

Hope sees light and a way through.

Fear closes in and suffocates you.

Hope gilds your feet with golden wings.

Fear ladens you with leaded boots.

Hope opens the door, windows and roof.

Fear buries you underground.

Hope becomes the champion.

Fear is defeated.

When you believe in something outside of yourself, bigger than you, different to you, then you confront hopelessness in battle and partnered with hope you can triumph.

Belief takes on many forms. It can rest in medicine, doctors, unknown rescuers, love, even in belief itself.

Belief is more than bravery. It is light, love, laughter and LIFE.

Saturday, 8 May 2010

Courage - The Cast List

Sometimes we face situations that we do not know how to handle and if we share the problem with others they may give words of advice.

“Remember the story of Moses,” they may say.

“Remember how God led him and delivered the people out of the hand of the Egyptians.”

When courage is in short supply within our bodies we may be tempted to reply, “But I’m not Moses!”

This is true.

We are not the same as many of the heroes of the Bible stories and legends that have been passed down through the ages. The tales of heroism make us feel pride in the achievements of others.

In our very present situations, when we are confronted with a choice that often causes us to fear and want to back away, we sometimes look into the mirror of our souls and know that we are not Moses. We have to remember that although this is true there is still one constant about this miraculous situation. The focus may have altered from Moses to me but the lead character in this tale has remained the same: I am NOT Moses, but God is still God!

When we do our part, God is always there to do His part.

He gives us the courage we need when we step forward in trust.

I am not Moses, I am me and God is still God.

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Leopards in your life

When you are unwell you develop a familiarity with the illness that has visited you.

You know all about it. You learn all about it. Despite this intimate bond, this closeness, you want the unwelcome visitor gone as soon as possible.

With a cold or the flu you know the symptoms and the approximate length of stay. You follow the course of the visit with interest, waiting for the tell-tale signs that the virus is packing up and ready to leave. You celebrate its departure with long deep breaths and cough-free nights. And you remind yourself that it was an unpleasant visit and do your best to avoid it in the future.

With chronic illnesses you sometimes try to forget that it is part of your being. When you have lived with it for any extended amount of time for the most part you ignore it. You work your way through life adapting to its hold on your existence. This may not seem like a good way to treat a guest but sometimes it is the only way.

Like the leopards in the rainforest that adapt to any kind of environment and eat almost any kind of food, so it is with some sicknesses that we have to endure. Leopards attack things much bigger than themselves and are not easily defeated. But they can be overcome with the right tactics, skills and knowledge.

In order to attack the leopard illness you have to really understand how it works. Sometimes it seems like you sneak up on it unawares and attack it with both medication and positivity, especially when it appears like there is an optimism drought within you and around you.

As humans we have a unique talent to overcome the most daunting situations. We have untapped resources within us. We often reach into our unknown reserves when the prospects seem final. And repeatedly we triumph.

Parents single-handedly lift cars off their trapped children as the adrenalin courses through them in the high stress situation. At times like this the normal boundaries of our voluntary capabilities are surpassed and our limitations alter.

When we become the leopards in our own jungles, in our own lives, we can adapt and survive most odds against us. Threats make new resources accessible within us. We must use these resources. We need to embrace the mental agility to use the available information and directly focus our newly found energy against whatever threatens us and we will survive to walk in peace another day.

Tuesday, 4 May 2010

Fear and helplessness

Fear is personal. My fear is not your fear … it may be similar but it’s never quite the same.

Fear is changeable. What makes me afraid on one day may be a walk in the park another day.

Fear is terrifying.

When you love someone you experience a whole new level of fear. Especially if the loved one is in danger – be it real or imagined. This fear is laced with helplessness.

The situation could be an illness. The details could be unknown. That’s enough to awaken the monstrosity of fear. Fear grows with alacrity; it comes from nowhere and is suddenly everywhere.

At times like this you don’t know what to do but you want to do everything and anything.

At times like this all previous personal fears are overshadowed.

No horror film could touch the magnitude that you feel on the scared-scale; it’s off all records.

That person who has elicited this feeling of love in you is in a situation you can’t control and that is like having your hands bound in a straight-jacket, locked underwater in a barrel with a mask on and no air to breathe. Every ounce, gram, centimetre of your being wants to do something but you are incapacitated and totally helpless. The combination of anxiety and powerlessness renders you motionless.

It is at this point that hope takes over.

Hope does not weight anything.

Hope does not have a shape or size.

Hope has the keys to unlock the worry and clear the vision.

Hope enables you to look forward and see a future.

Hope lets you smile when your heart is breaking.

Hope gives you the power to move when your body has given up.

Hope is the strongest muscle in your mind.

Hope reduces fear until it is destroyed.

Hope is the partner of love.

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