I mean that in the sense of wanting to have a connection with another person. A deep connection, a lasting connection.
We all want to know people and be known by people. Really knowing them and really being known.
This means taking a risk.
That is, unfortunately, how we have come to view the prospect of opening up to someone new. Like it is a risk.
That old familiar feeling of rejection hovers over us like Damocles’ sword. The ever present threat from which we think we’ll never recover.
The truth is that we do have knock-backs and rejections but that’s really all right. It would be impossible – and undesirable - to have everyone we meet in our lives at the same level of intimacy. We have to accept that some people will not like us, not because we are not likeable, but because we may not be right for their lives at that time.
This is a fact that I am beginning to accept because I know that the same thing does happen from my perspective. In theory I’d love to make and keep all friends for ever, but the reality is that sometimes our paths cross and we walk the same route for a while, then we may veer off into our own separate adventures and journeys. On occasions these paths may entwine again and the meeting is usually joyous.
However, when we go our separate ways it is because that is where our personal journeys are taking us, not merely because we are avoiding friendships.
We each have to follow our inner compass.
If my pull is in one direction and my friend is being pulled in another direction then I must let them pursue their way. For friendships sake I cannot stand in their way.
Their way is not my way.
My way is not your way.
Your way is not their way.
Not always …
But sometimes we do walk together,
For a while.
I’m trying to make the time I spend with friends special and accept that the time apart is special as well. For all of us.
The brilliance of sharing time, fun, love and happiness can help to stave off those moments of loneliness. These moments can be redirected to reflection and rejoicing at what we have enjoyed and what we can look forward to enjoying as well.
What I am learning each day is that opportunities can come is all shapes and sizes, and particularly in different guises.
When I remain open to possibilities, then I receive them in abundance.