Catalysts

Waiting for other people to do something, or anything, before you do something is about waiting for action to take place so that your reaction can follow.

It’s about following.

But it’s only concerning incidents that follow once the main event has taken place.

The complete situation is like a chemical equation: it’s all in relation to being a catalyst or a reaction.

Depending on the catalyst the reaction can be rapid or slow, and at the end of the reactive process the catalyst remains the same. Given these facts, I think it’s worth considering whether I want to be a catalyst for change or merely have a reaction to change imposed on me. The reactive element of this process is usually altered at the end of it while the catalyst remains the same: able to cause reactions within different environments again and again.

With that choice to make I’d suggest it is better to live an active than a re-active life.

It’s March, a new month, so that can be a catalyst, can’t it? I think the start of each month means a spring into action ... doesn’t it?

How’s your memory?

We want to be remembered.

Sometimes the events that we consider as magical do not even feature in the other person’s memory at all (at least they never talk about it in our presence, so we believe it has been forgotten): this makes us vulnerable.

These acts of forgetfulness can cause us some of the deepest pain we’ll ever know.

We are all fragile beings.

Remember that.

(Then forgive them for seemingly forgetting ... it heals you.)

Focus through tears and touch

Certain days make you focus on the important things in life. Today was one of those days.

There are times when you become linked to people you do not know through people you know and love. 

Introductions can be difficult at the best of times but in some circumstances it’s best to remain silent. 

Sometimes, like today, the only communication is done through tears and touch.

It may not be physical – either the tears or the touch, but however you make the communication show it brings life into sharp focus.

Today I should have been in bed. I was so ill, but I needed to be elsewhere. I awoke early and got ready slowly – I have been lacking speed in the recent week due to sickness. Once ready I steeled myself for the hours ahead. No matter how hard it was for me, my physical and emotional pain would be like a drop in the ocean for the people burying their dear relative that morning.

Funerals have a way of bringing life and relationships into sharp focus.

Right there before the coffin I became a part of group of people whose truths of love and life were brought sharply into focus as if placed under a giant microscope.

Saying goodbye is hard. Showing you care can be hard, but sometimes you just have to find that way to focus that emotion so the recipient may know ... one day.

Elizabeth Taylor – outdone

Rumour has it that Elizabeth Taylor liked to keep people waiting. There was even an edict to make sure that she was late to her own funeral. She was a legend in life and will – I’m sure - be a legend in her death. Although she will long be remembered one incident of outstanding lateness will outshine even Dame Elizabeth Taylor in my mind.

I don’t like being late to events where I’m invited but the traffic diversions and ensuing delays meant I was bound to arrive at a ceremony after it was due to start: I was beginning to feel mortified and called the family with my apologies as the hour was fast approaching.

I need not have worried; they still weren’t dressed and hadn’t left their accommodation yet. We arrived late (by our standards) but later – much later – I realised just how early I really was. After driving around 80 miles we waited in the car. And waited. Then, as a change of activity, we waited some more!

Nearly an hour after we’d arrived I called the hosts again. This time there was no answer. I thought they must be on their way. But this was not the case, after some – waiting, there was a ... no show.

I called again, this time I was told they were just leaving the house (something I’d be told when I was stuck in traffic a good while (and many miles) before.

While I waited I saw a few people arrive at the chosen location – they obviously knew something I did not. There was no sense of urgency about their arrival. Every guest had the same invitation but these people rolled in with a casual air. It was immediately obvious that nothing was going to happen for a long time yet. So I decided to go elsewhere for a while as nothing was happening at the celebration venue. When I returned about 45 minutes later I felt as if I had committed treason or at least some great breach of social etiquette.

But, again I sat and waited for the main celebrants to arrive.

When they did turn up (laden with excuses but not apologies for the delay) it was a full three hours after the party should have started. It was then that I thought that Elizabeth Taylor had been outdone!

Most of the guests turned up after this.

This led me to the conclusion that either I was not part of that social network that knew you had to add three plus hours to the official start time or I existed in a different time zone and held a distinct set of social standards. Incredulity remained with me for the rest of the evening.

So, this is an apology to the memory of Elizabeth Taylor who carefully nurtured her reputation over seventy years – and who even kept visitors to her own house waiting for her to enter a room – sorry, but you have been outdone.

Ding Dong

Ding ...

It could be spoken words.

It could be a written letter.

It could be a text.

It may be a silent action.

Dong...

Once created ...

these things exist.

In whatever you do remember ... you can’t unring a bell.

Watery sunsets

Streams of unbidden tears are my company tonight. I know why … because I miss you. Several sunsets have faded into darkness since I last saw you.

Time changes shape and length with my memories.

I thought I was over you.

I thought I had healed my heart.

Alas, your absence floods every space in my limitless soul.

What a mysterious thing is love. What a marvellous gift you shared with me. I used to be sceptical but now I know that magic is real.

You showed me.

You opened not only my eyes but my heart and mind.

Since we have been apart ...

I have busied myself and buried myself in busyness.

What I thought was past crept up without warning and again assaulted my heart with sweet, tender memories of the utter joy of loving and being loved by you.

You relaxed me, excited me, challenged me and fulfilled me.

I miss your touch in my life.

Impressions

In many homes across the world, including mine, there are mementos that have become lasting impressions of a person, a time, a memory. These may be in the form of photographs, objects and books.

Clay is a wonderful medium for retaining impressions.

Children love to play with clay. Adults also enjoy the pleasure of shaping something pliable into a lasting object. Impressing a shape into clay has become a usual way to retain memories. Parents and other relatives marvel at the imprints of the tiny hands and feet of the new additions to the family that have been preserved and mounted high for all to see.

Clay captures details perfectly. Every line and wrinkle is preserved. They catch the moment and last for a lifetime. The moment passes but the memory stays.

As we enter and share people’s lives we also make lasting impressions.

This impression can be when you or something about you stands out in an observer’s mind. It can be a good or a bad impression.

Each person makes an impact that can become deeply grooved into your mind or flit away like a single autumn leaf in amongst hundreds of others swirling through the windswept park.

I have had people come into my life that have been forceful and left a running impression like a deep tyre track in mud, while others that have been subtle and intricate leaving a memory like that associated with a beautiful perfume.

All these people have left a part their character behind even if they have gone away. Part of them will forever remain with me. The way they leave, the way they entered my life will all become part of the overall impression that they have generated and that I remember – fondly or not – when I think of them.

I’m sure that the same thing happens when people remember me.

I know that all impressions change and shape the receiver – that makes me conscious of the potential impressions that I am leaving in my wake today. Will they be strong positive impression that I have made or weak and distasteful impacts? Some people practice how to make a good impression and by doing this they act in a certain way to creating specific behaviour patterns for their own long- or short-term benefit.

It is unusual for anyone to know beforehand exactly what the result of their efforts will be. The effect of being in contact with others is like the creation of a painting: it is made by one person but many others can be influenced by its image.

I reflect on the mark others have made on my life. On so many occasions I have been extremely privileged to be the recipient of a beautiful expression of their characters. Some marks we leave in others' lives are temporary, some impressions are permanent and beautiful.

I hope that all the temporary impacts will be washed away like a sand castle at high tide, while all the permanent imprints will remain like clay casts retaining all the magnificent details perfectly.