New Year Resolutions – Sshhh!

I guess I’m a bit late in talking about New Year resolutions, but hey! That’s the way it is, I’m getting used to not being a sheep and it feels good. At least I’m getting used to being a sheep that is not in the huge flock that I used to belong to.

Anyway, I was going to talk about making New Year resolutions and the fact that millions of people have made them, and some may already have broken then – and it’s only day two of the New Year – and here I am, having not even made one yet! Well, that may not be strictly true, but before I perjure myself I’ll explain ... I don’t use the New Year as a reason (or excuse) to make a new resolution. Although it’s a significant day in the calendar for many people to me it is simply another glorious day to be alive and to achieve something wonderful – like any other day. Sounding trite? My apologies, but it is true ... each day is a spectacular gift. You have to agree with that I’m sure. We all seem to want more days to enjoy.

I don’t disagree that some dates have a special significance and memory but each present day is always - in my mind - the best day to start something; the present time always has the freshness needed for any task.

I read an article by India Knight that had the best advice about New Year resolutions that I have seen in a long time. It suggested that promising to start or stop something on a particular date seemed to put pressure on the task you have resolved to complete: the date arrives with a bang and you know what has been promised, others also know, all eyes are on you now.

Within a few weeks (days or hours) the resolve can fail or severely weaken and the embarrassment alone prevents you from wanting to do it all over again. So, Indian Knight recommends an alternative way forward:

“... decide what you want to take up / give up, and keep absolutely silent about it. Do it in secret.”

She says resolutions are essentially private things that you are doing for yourself, so it makes sense to keep them to yourself. India Knight contends that this way, you’ll feel fantastic if you succeed, and if you fail, nobody will know that you were even trying in the first place.

If you do fail, because nobody knew anyway, you have the added advantage that you can start again when you like, you don’t have to wait until the next New Year’s Day and a fresh set of new resolutions. With this silent method you really can’t be unsuccessful – you win both ways!

So, my New Year resolutions are ... to keep quiet about my New Year resolutions – Sshhh!

Happy New Month

Well, another month is here. Another step into the new year and all I am doing is remembering the past. Just last month masses of people all began to look forward to the new decade, new year, new start. I joined in as well. It's easy to go with the crowd. However, some things pull on my heart and mind a great deal more than prospects of the future (but, don't get me wrong, I am looking forward with hope and great anticipation).
Past loves, people who I have lost contact with, friends who I thought would be in my life forever. I sometimes sit and wonder where they are. Why we don't speak any more. Is it best to leave it all well alone?
I guess some of it is about accepting that I just did not fit into their lives the way they wanted me to. I still miss them though.

I am really, really bad at letting people go.
Maybe it's because I had to let go of my mother really early (when she died) and I didn't manage that at all well. Still not managing it well now. Who knows?

Sometimes I regret decisions I made that have led to this loss but I must accept that I made the choice at the time - whatever it was I did, I chose it - and there must have been a good reason then, even if I don't remember it now.

I will stop beating myself up and start making room in my life for new friends, new memories and happy times.

I will not, however, ever forget the past loves. My life is forever marked with our times together - and I miss you, still.