The truth

You know those court scenes when the witness or the defendant takes the stand? You see them stand there with their hand on some holy book and they state, “I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.”

Well, I was wondering, isn’t it because somebody hasn’t told the whole truth that the court is in session in the first place?

All court cases are built on the fact that there is some kind of disagreement as to what the truth of the matter is. The use of the opening statement means that there is an expectation of lies and deception. With the person saying these words it doesn’t automatically alter anyone’s desire or intent to lie.

In court, as with elsewhere in life, you live your own truth dependent on your social relationships and your plans for the future.

Lies are a personal social barometer.

What is your reading today?

Persuasion

I think I’ve got a problem with persuasion as I seem to have spoken about it quite a lot lately. If it’s not someone persuading me then it’s me persuading myself out of something – or into something.

The only down side is that I know that if I can be persuaded one way or another then I really don’t have any self-confidence in my own opinion. How sad is that? Do you feel for me? I hope so because I’m only writing this to elicit cries of “Poor Marj!” “Bless her,” and other comments in a similar vein. Has it worked?

I was tempted to think that I didn’t really know what I believed but the truth is I really do. I am sure on this matter. So, if you did share some sympathetic words for my perceived plight I thank you from the depths of my heart. When I was in a temporary flux (between the fifth and sixth line of this blog) I could have been persuaded to believe that my life was following similar plot lines as those in Jane Austen’s Persuasion. I am sure nothing quite as dramatic is happening and that maybe I am blowing things out of all proportion to the reality that I am in.

My final thought on this is that when you feel something on both mental and physical planes, then you really do know, don’t you?

I think I can be persuaded that this is true.

Promises

Making a promise is creating a contract for the future. A promise kept is like having two halves of a circle welded together; there is completion and strength.

Keeping promises matter – even if nobody else ever knows.

I therefore promise to ...

Sat by the window

The man sat quietly by the window.

As he looked as far as he could see, he couldn’t see what he was looking for.

He sighed.

The man remembered when he was far away from this room. He had walked in the sunshine. He had not walked alone.

When he returned to the clouded land he never wanted to stay. He had wanted to be in the sunshine but he starved the seeds of belief until they withered away.

When there were a matching set of footprints next to his he was told that the impossible had already taken place. He saw that it had. When he was there he had believed with all his heart. He had the strength and resources of a panther right then. Impossibilities had been knocked down like skittles in a bowling alley. There was unfettered happiness.

Belief had multiplied before his eyes. Possibilities beckoned him forwards. They were excited.

Then his horizon had to change.

With whispered promises they parted ... just for a while.

The journey was the hardest part because the sun set as he moved west. In that first darkness he wondered, “What if?”

Behind him his belief lay scattered like Hansel’s crumbs. While he adjusted to the clouds he saw every day the path back to the sunshine became so overgrown with weeds of doubt that when the man did try to go back he could no longer find his way.

Nothing in the cloudy land matched his footsteps, so he resigned himself to sit by the window and look out with a constant wish.

He grew old as he looked.

He wiped the tear away from his cheek and said aloud to himself, “Who knew that loneliness would taste as sharp and bitter as a lemon? Who knew?” He slowly shook his partially bowed head and, from the corner of his eye, he saw the deep bleakness in his heart was caught on the face reflected in the mirror.

Sadly he thought “If only I had believed enough ...”

Trust

Trust is easy when you believe.

A dear friend said a simple phrase to me many years ago, she said “You’re safe with me” and I believed her. I still believe her. It’s easy.

She is a most wonderful woman and those simple words taught me that it was OK to trust people, starting with her.

I don’t know how or why I chose her to start my journey of trust but I have never regretted my first steps. They were my foundation to learning to trust people again after many unsteady years. Her friendship has remained consistent through the decades.

The gift that I received that day when she told me that I was safe has never faded.

This has been a case of amazing love, trust and faith. I will never forget her. I have told her this.

My staff team at Mandela House 20-12-95

Me, JC and the gang!

She is a magnificent woman and all who know her will echo my sentiments. JC – I love you for all that you are just as you have always loved me for all that I am.

I just hope that everyone is as fortunate as I have been to have this particular friend in their lives. Everyone needs a JC as a friend.

Living the difference …

Living the difference …
Between theory and practice.

How many times have you both said and heard the phrase ‘Don’t make promises you can’t keep’?

Wise advice I think.

But what happens when you break a promise? How do you deal with the fallout of emotions from that? The guilt… the disappointment … the broken dreams …

I broke a promise recently, I’m usually faultless at keeping promises, and this one hurt a lot.
I broke a promise I made to myself. And then, now, I am paying for it, well, dealing with the after effects of the breach.

I felt like I let myself down, my last trustworthy porthole. Now what? If I can’t trust myself, who can I trust?

Sometimes, I have now found out, that we are harder on ourselves that we are on others. But I’ve come to the conclusion that it ’s ok to make a mistake. And more that that, it’s ok, and fair, to forgive yourself for that mistake.

I had no intention of breaking the promise to myself when I made it. That is the most important fact that I have to remember. The situation in which I had made the promise had changed and I made the best decision possible in the circumstances, and that meant a broken promise. So although I at first thought I had done a wrong thing I had in fact done the best thing for myself. So the guilt, the anger, the disappointment could all go without worry. Then I moved on to the next step.

Forgiveness.
I have forgiven myself because forgiveness means freedom.
Freedom from the guilt, from the disappointment, from the fear.

For years I have said the same to other people, that they need to give themselves a chance and not be so hard on themselves, but I am now starting to live the difference between theory and practice. I have applied the healing salve of forgiveness to myself and I feel better already.

I have the power to forgive myself, and I have freely done so.