These are my musings and observations on my daily life, loves and the laughter that are all a part of my experience of living now in the shires of England.

Thursday, 8 December 2011

Accepting Loss

When do we get taught about accepting loss? When we have lost someone or something and everything is raw with pain? Surely there must be a better way.

Why aren’t we taught about dealing with loss when we are young? Maybe that’s one of the good reason why children have pets because it helps them to deal with loss – not that I am wishing the death of anyone’s pet on them at an early age, but I’m sure you get my meaning.

So, how do we learn to accept loss?

Eckhart Tolle suggests there are only three rational choices to any situation: change it (if possible), walk away (if you are able to) or accept it (and love it) exactly as it is.

The final choice, of accepting things as they are – and imagining that we had chosen that situation – is the best mental choice for dealing with loss. I’m not saying that we would willingly choose loss, all I am saying is that once it has occurred (and we can do nothing about it) there will be a more positive outcome if we accept it (the loving the loss may come at a later stage ... if it ever does).

Some days I am at peace with all my losses, other days are not quite so easy but I am getting there and that’s all I can ask of myself right now.

by Chris Zuppa

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