Mansized Tissues

Kleenex make Mansize Tissues. I’ve been using a lot of them lately. As I looked at the new box I’d just opened I wondered what is Mansized about them and is there a woman-sized alternative?

Yes, this is what my brain is reduced to thinking about while I lay suffering: the naming and sizing of tissues!

I decided to investigate further mansized items to see if I could get any sense of a correlation between the mansized tissues and the non-existent woman-sized alternative (well, it may exist but it is not named as woman-sized).

Google reveals the following mansize options:

• Mansize Menswear – a Canadian shops that specialises in ‘fine apparel for men of an above average stature’.
• Man size boys t-shirts aka fat (advertised as “seriously cool”).
• A shop in Manchester, England provides ‘exclusive clothing for the larger man, with the unique Mansize range’.
• Mansize Rooster – song by Supergrass (no mention in the lyrics of a rooster or anything mansized)
• Mansized target – for army shooting practice (can you hit one at 400 yards?)
• “I’m man-sized no need to shout” – Man-sized lyrics from PJ Harvey
• Mansized.co.uk an online lifestyle website ... perhaps the Italian Prime Minister should join, then they can all see whose is bigger. Foot-in-the-mouth “joke” I mean.

The Mansize tissues that I’ve been using are soft and comfortable and gentle on your nose. They are also big enough so you don’t have to use many each time you sneeze. Mansized tissues are not just for men!

Men always need ... so much more than anything found in a neat cardboard box.

[Aside ... I wonder what size egos come in, or pride, or rage, or dominance, or antagonism for that matter? I may as well check out portions of mansized aggression, courage, and force while I’m here.

That’ll be over there on the top shelf I think. I’ll just get a man to get that for you madam.]

(Apologies to anyone offended by my flu-induced ranting ... well, that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.)

I may just have to revert to my neat, lady-sized, pocket tissues after today. It’s been a painful journey.