Anglian Water gives me a husband

I answered the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Mrs Morgan?”

“Ms Morgan,” I reply.

“Sorry? Mrs Morgan?” The caller queries again, “This is Anglian Water.”

“OK,” I reply giving up the desire to insist on my Ms-terious status title, I pause and wait for the caller to explain the reason for the call.

“I’m calling about the order your husband placed for the plumber service...”

“I don’t have a husband.” I reply - rather too forcefully I think.

“We have the details here,” I hear clicking in the background, “Mr Morgan contacted us regarding our water efficiency service...”

“I don’t have a husband,” I repeat.

The silence from the other end of the line conveys confusion. Then there is a low mumble.

“I think,” I start to speak at the same time as the caller does a uncomfortable throat clearance so I hesitate and start again after taking a deep breath of resignation, “I think that maybe you have put the name down incorrectly.”

“Excuse me?”

“I made the order myself,” I explain “and I definitely did not put anybody else’s name down.”

“Oh! The information we have says ‘Mr Morgan’.,. I just thought it was your husband who ordered the plumber.”

“No,” I am now trying my hardest to stay calm as this caller, who is distressingly a woman, seems intent on giving me a husband, “I contacted you via your website yesterday and left my details.”

“Will you please correct the information that you have?” I ask.

She does not reply directly instead she tells me when the plumber will be in the area and asks if I (or my husband?) will be around on that date.

I wish she could have seen me shaking my head in exasperation.

I don’t need (or want) a husband I only want a plumber!

Aaargh!