What is real?

I am real.

How do I know this? Because I can feel it and ... because my child told me so!

That is all the confirmation that I need right now. Thank you very much.

This statement of individual perception came riding into my life on the back of some jagged doubts. There are times when nothing seems completely right and uncertainty is the only certainty.

It was one of those days and I had just managed to reassure myself that I was doing just about OK as a parent when my child pipes up un-expectantly, “You’re ... real Mummy, I know you love me!” I laugh now as I think about it because it is – to me – so funny, but at the time it was like the icing on a cake I had been (metaphorically) mixing up all day.

I was never sure that I would get it done, baked, cooled or decorated. The day was hard, really hard. But then in the final moments my doubts were whisked away like the steam disappearing from a boiling saucepan, and I knew that everything was back in balance.

After that, when I was settling back into the reality and surety of my life and love, Morgan came up to me and planted a kiss on my cheek then said, “I love you. You’re my heart Mummy.”

That just reminds me that being consistent and reliable can make something more real.

Kindness ripples

I was discussing a Bible story with my child and a friend. We were talking about Naomi, Ruth and Boaz. As we went through the different aspects of the tale we started discussing the effects that being kind to someone can have on their life and subsequent behaviour.

And this got me thinking about some experiences that I used to have when I was a child. As you probably know by now, I am one of a large family of siblings and as a result we hardly every had any quiet time at home.

So that made me remember when I was younger and how I used to spend a lot of time out of the house. As a family all of us would spend hours in our big back garden or we would go for long walks, especially at the weekend. I now think it was part of our parents’ plan to get some peace and quiet but at the time it seemed like we were getting the best deal as we were free to roam and explore everything around us in the Wiltshire countryside. It was fun!

While on our walks we would inevitably happen upon a river: not unusual when you live near the River Avon – it comes up all over the place. When we got to the water we would skim rocks across the surface in a competition mode. Each of us wanted to have the most rock skips. And we could do this for what seemed like hours.

Once we’d started we just wanted to continue. Seeing the initial ripples made us want to do it all over again. So we kept repeating the experience until it got so dark that we finally had to go home. But I still remember that feeling of doing one thing in our games and seeing another one happen because of it.

I think it is the same with kindness.

Have you ever noticed that kindness ripples? Just like skimming a stone in the river. Try it, it’s a lovely experience.

You won't be the only one who remembers it for a long time.

Words. No words.

What do you say when you get a card from your child as they goes to bed that says “No. 1 Mummy, I love you.”

No words can suffice, but a huge smile, a hug and a whisper of thanks may help to convey the feeling of joy.

Then when you turn the small card over in your hands you see more words written - “Not said for advertising purposes, comes from the heart ...”

No words. Again. No words can match those words and thoughts.

For me right then there was just an overwhelming feeling that something is very right in this world and words alone cannot express it.

Persuasion

Today I had a conversation wherein I asked someone’s opinion on a matter that has been occupying my mind for a few weeks. I have a firm idea about what to do, but I am still not fully decided on the way I should proceed. I have weighed up the pros and cons for a while because whatever I do with impact my child’s school life for several years to come. I have to be wise.

After the conversation I felt myself wavering away from my position in favour of a new proposition.

This left me wondering how often I am easily persuaded to do one thing or another when I am almost totally convinced that a different path is the best one. I questioned myself to see if I valued the other’s opinion more than my own, or was I just too weak to stand up for my own point of view? Wondering if my own point of view was unstable did indeed leave me open to persuasion.