These are my musings and observations on my daily life, loves and the laughter that are all a part of my experience of living now in the shires of England.

Friday, 7 October 2011

Forever single

Relationship templates are said to be created in the first few years of a child’s life. I know you can change things and make your own choices as you grow up but I wonder how much easier it is to blame your parents when things go wrong.

It may also be the most discrete way to ‘cop out’.

I have considered my own relationship choices and have concluded that I have a propensity towards impossible love options. I set my heart and mind on inaccessible love. I make long distance choices. I seem to purposefully select impractical and impossible matches. I know there are barriers that cannot be surmounted but I launch my grappling iron anyway – knowing it will never hold fast, because that was never my intention or design. I think I want to catch hold but not sure that I want to hold on. So I pull the rope back towards me: it’s not a fluke. I have made love impossible.

I wonder why ...

My belief is that I have come to believe things I saw when I was younger and things I have heard since I have grown.

One friend said to me, when I told her that I was separating from my long-term partner, “You’ll never find someone else as right for you. If you do separate ... you will be forever single.”

Maybe that’s what’s best for me.

Maybe that is what I’m choosing.

Maybe it’s time I rewrote my relationship template ... or I could stay happily forever single.

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