Source of confidence

Last week I was privileged to attend a meeting with outstanding academics and as soon as I was in that environment I was imbued with a fresh charge of confidence.  The people in the same room as me exuded a sense of assurance that made me proud to be amongst them.

As serious topics were discussed I made notes and thought of questions to pose and answers to give. There was an electric charge of positivity that was as refreshing as a spring rain after a season of drought.

On my drive home I wondered where and how different people get confidence in their ability. Do they gain it from others or is it personally created. At some point people have to believe in themselves, whether they are gifted a seed or they make their own: personal confidence in you ability can take you a long way.

This much I know.

Missing

Have you ever noticed that you sometimes notice people more when they are gone?

There is this woman (well, I should say there was this woman) who I see every morning on the way to the school bus stop. She is always there, at her door with a smile and a few pleasant words to share as we walk past.

It doesn’t matter what the weather she was planted there looking out for the bus that came to collect her daughter. Her clothes and makeup were immaculate. I’m sure she’d been up for hours just applying the deep ruby red lipstick with absolute precision and the matching red belt or scarf around her otherwise black attire.

We talked through the seasons; the sun, the rain, the wind and the snow. Always a smile and a friendly wave.

Then, she was gone. At first I thought she was on holiday but then a few days later I saw people doing alterations on her house (no longer hers I guess) and I knew that she was gone for good. The windows and doors were replaced and the workers moved in and out without ceremony; they had reclaimed the space as theirs.

I will no longer look for her in the mornings but I’ll always remember her. For nearly two years we have shared greetings and short chats. Now she is gone.

I know I’ll miss this mysterious woman her daily friendly smile. I wish I knew her name.

Comfortable visibility

Social media is about visibility. We chose an identity and decide the level of accessibility that we want to allow. I am letting you know ... this much about this topic; this is what we more or less say. It may be what we think, what we know or even what we hope will be in the future. Any way that it happens we choose the level that we are comfortable with.

In real life we neither want to be ignored or noticed too much; we don’t want to stand out from the crowd, indeed we want to conform to the standards of the crowd.

An online identity is about being uniquely different from everyone else. Being able to manipulate your image is like decorating your home: it reflects how you feel right now. Like Gok Wan

or Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen

you choose your own level of comfortable visibility.

Brass monkeys!

A simple phrase and response can identify the group one belongs to.

Walking back from the school run one morning I casually said to someone “Brass monkeys today!” and smiled with a show of shivering.

Stood in her doorway as usual, she was waiting for the arrival of her daughter’s transport to school, she smiled and nodded. Her arms were clasped around her even tighter as we shared the moment.

“I know!” she exclaimed, and laughed nervously looking up to the sky as if for confirmation.

We totally understood each other and continued with our separate days after sharing another smile.

As I walked home I wondered what would have happened if I had said that to a recent arrival in this country. Would they have any idea what I was talking about? Language is a powerful tool that is used to include and exclude people all the time.

Knowing and using colloquialism and idioms are signs of belonging to and understanding any particular culture. If you get my drift...

Any the wiser? If not check this out ...