Half-hearted

Who wants half-hearted efforts in anything?

Are there any takers for people who are lukewarm about ... anything or everything? I don’t think there will be that much rush to snap those particular people for any team.

I think it’s plain to see that we don’t want uncommitted people working for us or with us. How about apply the question to yourself?

When you do something you really should be totally committed to it. Work in your time frame and to your ability, you will eventually (at the right point for you) be ready to share your passion with the world ... and the world will then be ready to accept the fruits of your commitment.

Half-hearted attempts really don’t cut the mustard.

(Have you ever tried cutting a mustard seed? Focus and determination are required.)

Fragile security

How safe and secure do you feel? This is a question I have asked myself. In my life one question often leads to another and the next question I had for me was ‘what makes you feel secure?’

Different things work for different people. It could be a series of locks on the door, your dog nearby, a partner, a mobile phone, a parent, a baseball bat close at hand, a prayer, a well built car, a spoken promise or ... absolutely anything.

What means everything to me may mean nothing to you.

If that security is shattered – because at most stages it is akin to a spun sugar dome over our hearts - then at that moment everything seems impossible to achieve.

A fragile sense of security is frequently linked to a fragile sense of self. Children of abusive parents know this all too well. The perceived sanctuary can be destroyed by one alcohol fuelled word or blow. It can also disintegrate under the withering eyes of a hate-filled look.

Without your own sense of security you live nervously, you live in a state of fear, or you live on a knife’s edge all the time. It is distressing to realise that you have become familiar with a sense of dread.

To reinforce personal security I have found that the best way is to journey inside – to find (or make) a safe haven – a place where you can believe in yourself as the one who will get you through any dread. What I have found is that when I’m faced with what seems like an impossible mountainous task I can follow the tendency to start my thinking process with, “I can’t do that ...” when, if I remember my past, I will find examples scattered like autumn leaves that tell me that I have already done the same or harder things.

That strengthens my resolve to keep going. Then I create a new normality for myself, one that is stronger than the fragile one of my recent past. I am erecting my own scaffolding.

In a way I am returning to an innocent child-like state when shyness and inhibitions at attaining my needs and desires were foreign behaviours. Having a strong sense of self is a natural expression of the young child that I was and I am attempting to emulate that confident nature that is still a part of me. When I succeed I feel as if I have built a castle around myself and nothing can harm me. Extreme emotional fragility is a thing of the past.

Determination to succeed

Determination seems to be in the air this month. Here are a few quotes that reinforce the fresh spirit of purpose:

"The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person's determination." Tommy Lasorda

"What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog." Dwight D. Eisenhower

"Nothing great will ever be achieved without great men, and men are great only if they are determined to be so." Charles De Gaulle

“Determination is the wake-up call to the human will.” Tony Robbins

“What this power is I cannot say; all I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that state of mind in which he knows exactly what he wants and is fully determined not to quit until he finds it.”
Alexander Graham Bell

“Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.” Og Mandino

When I decide to do something I focus on that purpose, I become fixed on achieving that goal. I am determined to succeed. My whole intention is to make that dream, that thought, that idea into a reality.

Being determined is usually seen as a positive thing. I don’t think this is always the case.

An example I have recently witnessed, well I have heard it rather than seen it, has been of a man resolutely pounding on the door of someone’s house in my street. He has been there for about two hours, taking only short breaks to regain his breath or maybe to apply some type of salve to his weary fist, but other than those temporary moments of relief (for both the innocent bystanders and himself) he has not ceased to call out another person’s name and to pound relentlessly to achieve his purpose - which seems to be to communicate face to face with the person he is calling.

The woman whose name he is shouting out is either as determined as he is or absent from the property because his personal resolution to repeat his actions over and over again have been met with a steadfast and definite silence from within the house. One determination has been matched with another, they have opposing aims, and like the gladiator in the Ancient Roman arenas faced with any opponent, there can only be one victor.

Some examples of determination, like this loud interruption to my evening, can simply be termed as sheer wilfulness: this particular man is determined that he wants something and his consistent shouting and banging indicates that he intends to get what he wants no matter who or what says otherwise to him.

Even negative situations can provide positive examples.

Banging man’s insistence has given me an example, albeit loud and unwelcomed, of a predetermined purpose.

He knows exactly what he wants. So do I ... and everyone else forced to listen to his loud cries. He is definitely determined tonight.

Every day can awaken us to a new, or renewed fixed intention of our own.

We can repeatedly determine to follow this new direction and remain resolute and firm in our purpose; and that is all good because “every accomplishment starts with the decision to try” (Anon). Determination does, however, need to be balanced by discipline. Discipline brings the addition chance of making your purpose more liable to succeed because you are less likely to give in to temptations that will take you away from your purpose.

Make sure, like I will, that what you determine to try from this day – a day that starts with all the number ones: 1/1/11 - is appropriate, focused and healthy for all concerned.

Have a great year!