End of month questions

What are you fulfilled by doing? (Do it more.)

Who are you happiest with? (Be with them often.)

Do you have an insatiable appetite for life? (Get somewhere where you do.)

What are you hungry for? (Options vary with individuals ... love, peace, greatness.)

What are you doing about achieving it?

What disappoints you? (How can you avoid it in future?)

Who is important to you? (Do they know? How can you show and tell them?)

How to you get to be better than you thought you could be? (Remember and repeat.)

Do you expect more of yourself? (If not, why not?)

Do you work to 100% of your ability? (What is gained from holding back?)

As this is traditionally a month for making resolutions I thought it was a good time to check the progress of the New Year and new improved you. How is it going?

I’m through with making resolutions instead I make daily revolutions of change in my life. Join me.

Emergency Services

What do firemen do when there isn’t a fire? They are generally thought to sit around doing nothing, and although I know that isn’t the case I still went through the thought process of ‘What’s the point of having firemen on call?’

Before you get up on all those high horses I do know the reason, really I do. And I appreciate it, a lot.

I just like to think, extrapolate and cogitate for the fun of it.       

I got to thinking ‘’What if ... there were no firemen, no ambulance crew, no doctors, no emergency services on standby – ever. What if ... we went back to the olden days when these were just secondary jobs in communities? Would we survive well?’

Risk assessment takes place in the work place, school, office and street every day and we have things in place ... just in case.

I mean, my car has air bags and reinforced doors just in case I am involved in another road traffic accident. 

They are there because someone asked ‘What if ...?’ I forget about them most of the time, however, I’m glad they are there.

I guess, it’s a bit like God. For me, I don’t always have a constant connection to Him, but I do regard Him as more than an Emergency Service, to me God is there for much more than ‘What if’s’ God is in my life because ... without this comfort and belief in more then I think I would be nervously asking ‘What if... ?’ most of the day!

Who am I when ... ?

Questions for myself ...

When I see somebody hurting who am I to them? Do I add to that hurt or help to take away their initial pain? Do I ease their hurt or increase it?

Who I am when ... you need me?

Who am I when ... I need you?

Who am I when ... they need us?

Who I am when ... it matters? It always matters. Who am I now?

Questioning friendship

It is unusual that I baulk when someone refers to me as a friend. There have only been rare occasions that this has happen and they were mainly a long time ago when my partner used to introduce me as a ‘friend’ and I would – for social and political reasons, do the same. It always left a taste of bitterness.

So, imagine my surprise when earlier this week someone introduced me to other people as her ‘friend’ I immediately felt very uncomfortable with the term. This is not about denying intimacy; this is about making a presumption of closeness that does not exist. It made me uneasy.

I love people and look forward to making new friends, but I think this categorisation was a bit premature.

To me, friendship is about some commonality of view, interests, and is usually the result of spending some quality time together. As far as I was concerned none of these ‘requirements’ had been met.

This woman, who I had met in a business environment some time last year, had no right to refer to me as a friend, at least that’s what I felt and what I still think. Like I say, I found it an unexpected and unusual introduction that gave a false impression of our relationship.

It’s a bit like the Google + circles, some people are friends, some are acquaintances, some are in other categories that you really don’t want to announce publicly. I am always friendly, but to be referred to as a friend or to call someone a friend is a major step for me, one that I had not taken yet in this relationship. That’s why it threw me somewhat.

Maybe that statement will be the start of a real friendship, who knows. But right now all I feel is unsettled by the reference. How strange is that?

It's magical

You can teach people most things like how to drive a car, paint a house, build a wall or ride a bike. But some things come to us without us being formally taught how to do them. We just know. It could be that we learnt to walk but trying it out on our own, or create unique art by doodling with a pencil.

Earlier, my son Morgan, asked me a question. He said, “How do you love?” And it really made me think about where and when the feeling of love starts. How exactly do we know that we love someone? For adults we experience a romantic love that invariably involves some form of attraction.

We don’t decide who we are attracted to, we just know that looking at that person makes our heart beat a little faster or (at least in the initial stages of contact) brings on a desire to look away yet look at the object of your desire and there is a permanent smile fixed on your face when you think about them or look at them; those are some of the signs that an attraction has taken root in your heart.

You definitely cannot teach a person how to love but you can help them to show their love in acts of kindness and consideration for others. Love is not something that can be forced or moulded to fit anyone – it just happens. And all this occurs without being trained to do it.

Love is the best magic trick I’ve ever experienced. I can’t figure out how it’s done, but I do believe it – with all my heart.

My broken dream

I didn’t know I was dreaming but I was. It felt real to me and there I was dying to hear the answer to the question, instead I was woken from my slumbers. I didn’t want to be awake right then, I wanted to know. I still do.

Waking up from my dream was like reading through a book and finding the last few pages have been unceremoniously ripped from the binding. I remain devastated.

I had asked, “Do you want me to stay or go?” And then I was yanked from the room where she was. It felt as if I was deep sea diving and the ascent was too quick. I struggled to reconnect with my familiar surroundings in the dream but my new environment of my bedroom was suddenly alien to me.

I wanted to cry. I really wanted to know if she needed me, if she wanted me, if she was choosing me to be with her instead of the other person in the room. She knew I would do whatever was best for her – that’s always been the way between us.

We were alone in the room together when one of her relatives had burst in and had just confronted her, after which she had flung herself to the floor in anguish. By now she was across the room from me, but I went to her and stooping down I gently held her head in my lap. Her beautiful eyes remained as closed as her entire body. I couldn’t read her at all.

I knew what the connection was like with her family, and I didn’t want any confrontation. However, I would have stayed if she nodded, said a small word or even squeezed my hand. I would have faced wild animals for her but ... I never got the answer.

Quick quiz

Are you more fascinated with

A – something you can’t have?

or

B – something within easy reach?

Do you find easily obtainable things

A – bore you?

Or

B – excite you?

Do the answers to the previous question relate to people as well as things in your life?

A – yes

Or

B - no

Answers on a postcard to the usual address.

Result will be published in due course at the usual place.