These are my musings and observations on my daily life, loves and the laughter that are all a part of my experience of living now in the shires of England.

Monday, 15 February 2010

I deserve better for myself

I chided myself yesterday evening.
I needed something, and as I instinctively reached out to fulfil my need I recognised that I was going for an option that I would not consider if I was doing this same thing for ANY body else. Thankfully I caught myself and said ‘You deserve better,’ and without feeling that I was on the edge of insanity I smiled and said to myself, ‘Yes, I do.’

Too often I think myself into the second-best position in my own life.

I deserve better.

Celebrating the uniqueness and brilliance of my own life is something that I do not do that often. I do not mean that I should go around professing my greatness at each and every opportunity instead I mean that I should cast off the inferiority complex that has beset me for so long. The voice that tells me that I should focus on others and their happiness more than my own joy, the voice that objects – out of bad habit – when I dare to choose my own pleasure for even a short while. The nagging feeling that it is not all right to spend time in pursuit of the activities that make me remember why I feel joy in my being.
In this new month, I resolve to remember that … I deserve better.

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