These are my musings and observations on my daily life, loves and the laughter that are all a part of my experience of living now in the shires of England.

Sunday, 19 December 2010

Be honest, be kind

... especially to yourself. It is the season of goodwill and people everywhere, even those who do not believe in Christ, are being kind and somewhat considerate to each other. We often forget ourselves at this time. I am not advocating a bout of selfishness, just a dose of honesty and kindness directed at yourself because you are worth it.

I have honestly been reflecting about where I have been and with kindness I have reminded myself about my achievements. Now this is not more self-centred behaviour this is more along the lines of improving self esteem. And as far as I know there are plenty of people in the world that need a small boost to their self esteem. There are always the exceptions to any rule ... but I won’t talk about them right now.

When I write in my journals I do not edit and correct. I just write. They could be described as my stream of consciousness. Through the years I have returned to them and it always amazes me as to where I was and where I am now. You see, sometime I look at my current situation and, it must be said, that occasionally I think I am in not such a good place – this may be emotionally, socially or a whole host of other -lly’s that I could list. Then, when I look back I can see that, although things may not be totally rosy in my garden at that precise moment, I know that I have a garden! I know that I am blessed with beautiful blooms in my life on a daily basis (to take the metaphor just that step further ...).

I have spent time investigating how and why I feel certain things and many of my discoveries somehow became a part of the fabric of my existence. A big eye-opener was looking at emotions and the messages they convey. There are both positive and negative emotions. Negative emotions give me the message that something needs to change; they are an action signal. With all emotions I have learnt that I must somehow identify the signal and work through various steps until I can take action to fulfil the change needed. It is a marvellous achievement when you can be honest with yourself and be kind enough to yourself to listen and act.

As these amazing facts on emotions helped me enormously I think I’ll do a blog on them in the coming days.

That’s all on the condition that I’m not being too honest and kind to myself that I decide I don’t want to write any more (that will never happen!)

As a taster I’ll just say this is what I do:

(when you get your own emotional message you could also try these four steps)

v Identify the signal (I’m going to look at least 10 emotional categories from loneliness to anger)

v Clarify the situation (by this I mean appreciate the message)

v Change ... your state, your perception or your procedure

v Take action

I’ve continually found that when I am honest and kind to myself I become more confident and certain in what I do. I also become excited to take action.

Now, I don’t know of many people that couldn’t do with a touch of the right kind of excitement in their lives, do you?

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