These are my musings and observations on my daily life, loves and the laughter that are all a part of my experience of living now in the shires of England.

Monday, 13 June 2011

A personal Hollywood set

It has come to my attention through extensive research (of myself) that pretending is not a good thing. In fact I’ll go as far as concluding that pretending is a bad thing, a very bad thing.

Pretending is after all a lie.

And I for one cannot remember any time that a lie proved to be a good thing in my life.

In my life some webs of pretence were not initiated by me, but I used to buy into them because I didn’t want confrontation or the possibility of upsetting anybody; so I took the upset to bed with me at night. The silent tears moistened my pillows for years. And each day I would wake up and assume my role in the pretence again. At times I felt as if I were in a Hollywood movie. The only thing was it was real.

It may sound harsh to say that pretence is a lie but I can’t see that it is anything else. And as I said, I have done extensive research on this subject (see above for the statistics).

Actors get paid millions to pretend to be someone else on the set. No film is being made about my life, this is it: this is my real life. Realising that (at the right time) one day I decided to shed the heavy cloak of pretence and started to walk free – as me. Some of the people who had walk-on parts in my life left the stage. It’s different and it’s all good.

This leads me to ask ... why pretend it’s all right? What’s the point? It’s a waste of time and energy. It's the wrong way (for me) to be.

If you want some fictional action - go see a movie, don’t live it.

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