Sometimes what you think is your perfect future is not quite a complete picture. As I have matured (like a good wine, I think) I have come to realise that my vision was great as a child but I have encountered more twists, turns and cul-de-sacs in my life than the best detective novel.
And I am pleased to say that the plot has not ended yet!
Where I am today, I would never have dreamed of, not even fifteen years ago. Thank God I can say that I have more happiness in my life today than I have ever dreamed of.
I had anticipated a different path, but this one is the one I am supposed to be on.
When I was 10 years old I became an Auntie for the first time. My first nephew turns 41 this month and the things that I thought about parenthood and family from those early days are so different now.
I have my own family. I have my birth family and I have my friend family but most important to me (sorry y’all!) is my immediate family of my son and I.
When all my siblings were openly exploring their sexuality and producing children in the same way that I was shelling peas in the back yard, I baulked at the idea of being a parent. I saw my parents (they seemed to have constant worries about us children) and I saw my siblings (they had different concerns – but just as valid); parenting seemed to have worries attached like an octopus stuck on the side of a house. The multiple arms and points of concern seemed never ending.
My immediate family is different. With myself and my son as a unit I now see the world in a totally different way. Having my child also makes me see myself in a totally different way. I have discovered parts to myself that other relationships could never have reached (nod to Heineken).
The future is bright, much brighter than I’d ever imagined!