These are my musings and observations on my daily life, loves and the laughter that are all a part of my experience of living now in the shires of England.

Sunday, 19 June 2011

Positive transference

I know that sometimes you get stuck in a situation and you just don’t know what to do to move out of that rut. What I have found is that often the best thing to do is ... nothing. Now wait before you jump on your bandwagon and curse me out. I really mean that you wait a while not just hide under a rock for ever.

I have discovered that by waiting and looking elsewhere you often see the answer. Somehow the solution that you are looking for becomes plain in a different situation. This happened to me this very week.

I was having a problem that I wanted to exit without causing too much pain to all involved. What someone considered normal contact behaviour was excessive and intrusive for me – which may seem strange because although I blog I am highly selective about what I share and I still have privacy issues. It didn’t feel right so I acted instantly – no waiting in this instance; I explained the circumstances to a mutual friend and they responded that they were glad that I had taken control of the situation. Taken control? In my mind I had reacted but while I was waiting to see what would happened next I also took the initiative and acted. In doing that I was taking the chance to express myself immediately and as I was doing so I realised that the same answer I had just discovered here could also be applied to another situation.

All I needed to apply was the skill of positive transference and I would be sorting out ‘two birds with one stone’.

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