Lent? Meaning and importance

It's amazing how some things change over time (writing styles, for example) and other facts never change.
At this time of fasting (for Ramadan) I was reminded of this old piece of writing that I did way back in 2007. It is on the local BBC website.

Lent is a time for giving up luxuries

Taken from bbc.co.uk/northamptonshire:

Forty lines for Lent

Read Marjorie Morgan's poem explaining the meaning and importance behind Lent, set out in 40 lines.

http://bbc.in/riBvJ6

I've got to hand it to you ...

“Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her: but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game.” Voltaire.

It is regularly said that life is like a hand of cards and we each have to decide how to play what we are dealt with. We can go through life ...

hands on

or

hands free.

This is not as bizarre as it may at first sound because hands are the symbol of connectivity. Parents hold their children’s hands for comfort and security. Lovers hold each other’s hands as a sign of closeness and continuing affection. In many cultures you shake hands when you first meet someone and often when you say goodbye.

When troubled times arise the hand of friendship is offered as an expression of peace.

In ancient times (and in some recent times – as with Prince William and Kate Middleton) people who plan to marry have asked for the other’s hand in marriage.

The hand we use can be negative or positive. It is said that you can’t shake hands with a clenched fist. History records many signs of workers uprising against oppression as having a raised fist in their protest banners. The use of the hand can be a very physical presence in our lives or it can be a verbal presence. Comments that can cause intense pain are sometimes referred to as off-hand. These words are as sharp as barbed wire pulled across an exposed arm.

The symbolism of the hand is potent in all societies.

No use of the hand is as powerful as when it is used in love. With love the hand can placate heated situations, it can intervene and assist those who need help (and sometimes those who don’t know they need or feel they want it – especially children), it can symbolise support and strength, and it can be used as a promise of faith, honesty and integrity.

When we want to separate ourselves from people we get into a ‘hand off’ position. This is when we are not touching anymore and we adopt a position where we are no longer responsible for the other person. Parents say their children are ‘off their hands’ when they leave home and assume responsibility for themselves.

I often wonder where our responsibility to ourselves and to each other begins and ends. This makes me think if we can ever truly say that we have a ‘hands off’ position with people less fortunate than ourselves? I think that the welfare of us all is linked; linked by our innate connection to each other, linked by our hands. We often exist in a state of isolated numbness that, according to the character Graham in the film Crash (2004), because people need human connections and contact when they miss it they may just crash into someone to shatter the numb feelings – even if it is for a while.

With a little imagination we can all connect in a better way that crashing into each other, we can really make the image of ‘hands around the world’ work as we reach out and touch somebody’s life with love.

I’m living a ‘hands on’ life. For me it is the only way. I remember a time in my past when I didn’t know how to ask for help properly and I imagined that people we ‘thinking’ about me when what I really needed was for someone to actually touch my life – with their hands.

Being present is a gift.

When I work with children in schools I see the difference that dedicated one-on-one time makes to their day and their life learning experiences and from this small act I know that being a hands-on person is like attending a free symphony every day.

I always get more than I give. The old proverb says “One hand can’t clap.” I think it will be great if we all started reaching out to each other to make our own beautiful music in a peaceful ‘hands-on’ way.

Then we truly can have hands around the world.

Short selling and cheerleading

I think that each time we try something new we go through an initiation routine. We are constantly capable of learning and always gain valuable experiences but we are also so good at selling ourselves short. So often we can see the talent, skill and great personality of any other person, but when it comes to ourselves, we become blind, dumb and deaf to our abilities.

When you value something you look after it. When you value yourself you treat yourself well.

I have decided to become my own cheerleader because I have been guilty of short-selling myself to myself.

I will, from this day forward, give myself credit where it is deserved. I will remember the things I have learned, the things I have experiences and the feats I have accomplished.

Rah rah!

Be your own rock

Remain firm in your convictions.

Believe in the quest of your cause.

Keep on keeping on.

Make the changes bit by bit.

Take the lead in your own life by maintaining the commitment to yourself.

Simply focus on your goal and quietly and steadily move towards it; each day, every day.

STEP UP in your own life.

Take responsibility for your life

I’ve been on several journeys in the past nine months; this has been my period of gestation. I’ve now given birth to my dream, again. I am living my dream.

Some of these journeys that I’ve been on have been emotional and mental, and others have been physical. Let me share with you some of the things I’ve learnt on my travels.

The first thing I acknowledge is that change is good. Change always happens.
All my recent journeys have included change in my life. The fear of the change has been worse than the actual reality of the change. So, I’m glad that I passed the fear stage and started on the action phase.

It’s been a marvellous time.
A time of growth. A time I’d never have missed for anything.

One event can re-route you from your journey. It can be an unexpected pleasure like a touch of love; a hint of care, a moment of attention from a stranger, and, if you are fully alert in that moment, your whole life is changed. Immediately you want more, different outcomes from life.
It could be an unexpected meeting that fills the gap, chases the shadows away and releases the vacuum: so that you are free at last. Free to follow your dream.
What happens in those special moments is that you realize that up until that point you are not living fully. You realize that the existence you are in is shallow.

For me there were a series of small incidents in my long journey. These built up and turned into the catalyst that made me see that where I was going at that time was not where I really wanted to be going. But one event stands out amongst them all. It was like the final ignition of the flame.

The occasion was a group holiday. Following an unexplained strained day I was suddenly, after the evening meal, verbally attacked by a member of the group. Being sensitive to mood changes I had, earlier in the day, guessed something was amiss, but the venom of the attack caught me off guard and I reeled emotionally. I had not expected any attack much less a full frontal attack. The damage to my emotions left me open and wounded.
I reacted in the way I used to do when confronted with conflict. I tried to laugh it off, then, registering the seriousness of the assailant, I retreated into a state of shock that was accompanied by copious tears. Anger followed swiftly. Anger at the person whose actions had elicited my response. Most of all I was angry at myself for not being prepared and exposing my emotional self so blatantly for all to see. I was used to keeping all emotions in severe check.

Now I see that this event was a good thing as unexpected people supported me through that time in unexpected ways and I have learnt about a strength and resolve that I had forgotten existed within me
But back then I didn’t know what to do.
I tried reasoning with the person, but they wouldn’t listen to me. Others also tried but the person was fixed in their views of righteous indignation at the perceived wrong that I had inflicted on them and could not be moved. This was a time when there would be no resolution. It hurt me. My role as peacemaker and pacifier was rejected: I was the accused and the mantle did not sit well with me.

Despite my best efforts I knew after a while that nothing was going to alter. My anger grew. I felt impotent. I wanted to be away from there. From all of those people. But my sense of responsibility to others held me there. When I was placated slightly by a kind relative, things started to calm down as I accepted the impossible situation.
Although I was still wired with expectations, they were never met. Then, in the midst of all my high tension and frustrations, I was literally touched; it was like electricity – right through my body. I jumped initially when I felt fingers on my shoulder because I became completely undone. The touch extended to somewhere that had been dormant for too long. I felt awakened in that moment, then I had another struggle on my hands: I wanted to get to the source of that feeling. Instantly I knew what I wanted.
I was, however, scared, because it felt so, so good. I asked the person to stop touching me. I wanted them to continue, but I needed to ask them to stop or I would lose my control right there and then. I could easily have just packed up and driven away right then because that was what I felt was the right thing for me. And I knew I was free to do what was right for me. Right there.
The almost empty restaurant now seems the strangest of locations to release my inner desire, but it was the right place.

I knew what I needed to feel free. It was almost as if I was being told that ‘it’s alright that they don’t like you, they are wrong about you, and that’s alright. You don’t need to change their minds, you just need to change your attitude’.
Then, strangely, I also remembered that other important dream that had been locked away. I recalled in extreme clarity the purpose of my existence here.
Right then I did not have a long term worked out plan. I just had the desire to do what my whole being ached for.
I decided to take responsibility for my life. I took back the control that I had let slip away from me.

You may already be in full control of your destiny, and I applaud you. Let others learn from you. If, however, you are starting your journey, take this fact with you: it is possible to get control of your life and it will be an amazing trip. Take the first step. It’s a bit like looking at an elephant and thinking how on earth are you going to eat a whole elephant. The answer is: one bit at a time. No matter how big the obstacle is you can manage it just one bit at a time.

Take responsibility for your life, it’s up to you, no one else. It’s your life. Why leave it to chance or to the input of somebody else to have the power or the responsibility to decide what you do? Being free to choose is part of being human. It’s a gift; it’s a real gift. Don’t waste it; use this time. Now. Take responsibility. You have no right to complain if you don’t. It’s your choice not to take responsibility, too. Do it or don’t.
It’s your life.

Just remember this, whatever you choose to do: making other people happy when you lack happiness can become a habit and is cowardly behaviour, and a poor excuse to stop you finding out your own dream of what makes you happy.

Start the next moment that is given to you with a renewed plan to teach your heart to smile as you live your dream.