These are my musings and observations on my daily life, loves and the laughter that are all a part of my experience of living now in the shires of England.

Thursday, 1 September 2011

What is real?

I am real.

How do I know this? Because I can feel it and ... because my child told me so!

That is all the confirmation that I need right now. Thank you very much.

This statement of individual perception came riding into my life on the back of some jagged doubts. There are times when nothing seems completely right and uncertainty is the only certainty.

It was one of those days and I had just managed to reassure myself that I was doing just about OK as a parent when my child pipes up un-expectantly, “You’re ... real Mummy, I know you love me!” I laugh now as I think about it because it is – to me – so funny, but at the time it was like the icing on a cake I had been (metaphorically) mixing up all day.

I was never sure that I would get it done, baked, cooled or decorated. The day was hard, really hard. But then in the final moments my doubts were whisked away like the steam disappearing from a boiling saucepan, and I knew that everything was back in balance.

After that, when I was settling back into the reality and surety of my life and love, Morgan came up to me and planted a kiss on my cheek then said, “I love you. You’re my heart Mummy.”

That just reminds me that being consistent and reliable can make something more real.

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