These are my musings and observations on my daily life, loves and the laughter that are all a part of my experience of living now in the shires of England.

Wednesday, 16 February 2011

Just what the doctor ordered

There are pockets of time when I’m just tired. Plain and simple tiredness.

When I am lost in these cul-de-sac periods I often just want to cry.

You see, I get tired of stuff – all kinds of stuff. Things that don’t matter one iota one day can suffocate me the next.

What has brought all this on? That’s a question I asked myself just now. But I think I’m even too tired to think about it in any great depth because ... I’m just tired.

Following a deep breath I exhaled and some reasons dashed across my mind like a startled deer in front of my car headlights on a dark country road.

So here are some of them:

I get tired of taking the initiative. Sometimes I also want to be surprised.

When I hear the same conversations regurgitated I just want to yawn. My heart yearns for some challenging thoughts to stimulate me.

Quite frequently I annoy myself because I get tired of trying to fix something that I didn’t break (I am still learning to let things go) – especially when nobody else seems to care that it has been broken.

I am drained because right now I don’t have a ‘go-to-person’ to go to with my questions. My reservoirs are running low and I’m all out of answers today; it’s exhausting to keep going when you’re running near empty.

I weep without tears at the sense of unidentifiable emptiness; it drains the already vacant void.

I am tired of being in control. I long for a chance to relax in the back seat for a refreshing change.

Maybe I need to both cry and rest for a while then I can move past this tiredness because it’s just making me weary.

I’m glad there is a holiday around the corner ... just what the doctor ordered.

Maybe when I wake up tomorrow this feeling of tiredness will disappear as quickly as so many night-time dreams. And when the sun rises, so will my energy levels – tiredness will then be banished.

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