There are pockets of time when I’m just tired. Plain and simple tiredness.
When I am lost in these cul-de-sac periods I often just want to cry.
You see, I get tired of stuff – all kinds of stuff. Things that don’t matter one iota one day can suffocate me the next.
What has brought all this on? That’s a question I asked myself just now. But I think I’m even too tired to think about it in any great depth because ... I’m just tired.
Following a deep breath I exhaled and some reasons dashed across my mind like a startled deer in front of my car headlights on a dark country road.
So here are some of them:
I get tired of taking the initiative. Sometimes I also want to be surprised.
When I hear the same conversations regurgitated I just want to yawn. My heart yearns for some challenging thoughts to stimulate me.
Quite frequently I annoy myself because I get tired of trying to fix something that I didn’t break (I am still learning to let things go) – especially when nobody else seems to care that it has been broken.
I am drained because right now I don’t have a ‘go-to-person’ to go to with my questions. My reservoirs are running low and I’m all out of answers today; it’s exhausting to keep going when you’re running near empty.
I weep without tears at the sense of unidentifiable emptiness; it drains the already vacant void.
I am tired of being in control. I long for a chance to relax in the back seat for a refreshing change.
Maybe I need to both cry and rest for a while then I can move past this tiredness because it’s just making me weary.
I’m glad there is a holiday around the corner ... just what the doctor ordered.
Maybe when I wake up tomorrow this feeling of tiredness will disappear as quickly as so many night-time dreams. And when the sun rises, so will my energy levels – tiredness will then be banished.