These are my musings and observations on my daily life, loves and the laughter that are all a part of my experience of living now in the shires of England.

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Unrealistic dreams and realistic nightmares

It’s like this at the moment ... I wake up way too early, that is I wake up before the alarm goes off and I can’t get to sleep again. It’s the same time every morning and it’s getting beyond a joke now. The problem is I’m too tired to get up and do something constructive so I have to lie in bed for the rest of my supposed sleep time until I have mustered up enough energy to get out of bed.

I’m a bit like a dynamo light, not much to start with but once you get me going in the morning then there’s no stopping me. Some strange phenomena in my brain has decided that my awakening time needs to be altered. I wouldn’t mind so much if it was an hour’s shift – taking me back to GMT or even to another time zone because then I could adjust the rest of my day accordingly. No, this alteration in my body clock has decided on a 40 minute shift. Random? It seems so to me, but it is regular like clockwork in its randomness.

It may have something to do with the dreams that I seem to been inhabiting recently. Maybe they are too unrealistic and in my subconscious mind I feel the need to come back to a different reality earlier than planned.

I was too befuddled to think about it in any depth in the early throes of the dawn but later on in the day, as I was walking between appointments, the thought came to me that maybe having an ‘unrealistic dream’ is not a bad thing.

Too often in the past I’ve had the tendency to dream small and my expectations were easily attained. Now

When people say to you that you are being unrealistic maybe they are saying that your dreams are beyond their understanding. Although my dreams have seemed more real that my journey back to consciousness I have enjoyed my dream time because it is a fresh reminder that what others consider unrealistic dreams are better for me that the living reality of a realistic nightmare. The dreams stretch my belief in my capabilities and open up hidden possibilities. I feel alert, awake and active in my dreams. It is a strange thing to feel vibrantly alive and then realise that you have been sleeping through it all.

I will constantly strive for the experience of my dreams – even when I am too tired to roll myself out of the bed in the morning (maybe because I've been pedalling my dynamo light in my dreams), because I know that the previous limitations, imposed by myself and others, only lead to a far too realistic nightmare that lasts way longer than 40 minutes of any day.

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