Qualities and Blessings

There are times in life when we cannot see our own wonderful qualities. This is where others come into the picture. (You could also use a mirror to physically look at yourself or the mental reflective mirror is also useful to discover these qualities.)

In case you are having difficulties pinpointing one right now I am going to provide a starting list of qualities and suggest you pick any one of them, because I know they are all relevant to you. Go on, try this, it’ll be fun and revealing.

Qualities:

Strength                      Politeness                    Kindness                     Sincerity

Honesty                       Humility                       Charity                         Civility

Courteous                   Sympathy                    Empathy                      Compassion

Altruism                       Wisdom                      Judgement                   Enthusiasm

Focus                          Respect                      Awareness                   Attentiveness

Patience                      Punctuality                  Flexibility                      Self-control

Resourcefulness        Discretion                   Determination               Sensitivity

I could go on, but I’m sure you’ve picked out more than a hand-full already. But you only need one for this part of the exercise, you can go back and do it again later with another one. That proves how many wonderful qualities you have already from this incomplete starter list.

The next thing to do is to create for yourself a blessing using the handy blessing template I have provided below:

It’s a one-size-fits-all template – all you have to do is to fill in the sections after putting your chosen quality in the first section. For example, “I accept for myself the gift of ... strength.”

I think you’ll be able to do the rest on your own.

Enjoy your qualities and your blessings. Remember to repeat this exercise regularly for a good outlook on your life.

You deserve your blessings because ... you have the qualities and you’re worth it!

Create a blessing

I accept for myself the gift of ....................................................................................

I experience its power to be present in my life as .....................................................

...................................................................................................................................

May it enable me to change ......................................................................................

...................................................................................................................................

And may it bring me the deep experience of ............................................................

...................................................................................................................................

Dreams

I have a dream. I am making it a reality.

Dreaming is often frowned upon by those without their own dreams. Joseph was a dreamer. His brothers tried to get rid of him but he ended up fulfilling his destiny and saving his whole family from starvation.

My bookshelves are full of stories of people who dared to dream and act. They made a difference and made their dreams come true.

I am writing the script to my own dream. My life is not a work of fiction but it is my life story. I am moulding it so the end is what I would like to see. I’m trying to make my dream a reality.

Are you?

“Dreams are good for you. People need to dream.” Shutter Island (2010)

Is it time to change my timeline?

I like words. I guess that’s why I play Scrabble and other word games. But I like words more than for gaming purposes. I like words because they identify feelings, emotions and concepts in more different ways than I am able to be emotionally fluent in.

The Bible is full of words and I like reading it and understanding the concepts behind the stories and the messages held in those 66 books. I also really enjoy the works of Shakespeare, Milton, Blake and several more modern writers. The words seem to caress my soul with their beauty.

Often I feel I don’t have enough time to enjoy the wonder of books but I do manage to read something each and every day, and for that I feel blessed. I plan to make more time to read ... however, when I think about ‘making time’ I am drawn to the concept of what time is. I questioned ‘what are the ancient meanings of time’?

We are all familiar with chronos time: this is chronological or sequential time and many of us just watch as our individual life clocks go from one end to the other and eventually fades away. Then, that’s it, our life is over and we’ve stayed on the single track all the time. We’ve satisfactorily followed the timeline we’ve been given.

Less familiar is kairos time: this is an indeterminate time when something special happens. Some people have been known to say that kairos time is specially appointed time linked to the purpose of God. I then wondered what God would want for me and the answer always seemed to come back to happiness and fulfilment in one form or another.

I wonder if today it is time to alter you timeline and follow the special purpose of God in your own life; is it time to deviate from following the chronological path that so many people take but do not enjoy?

When I recently heard the words “it’s time” I knew that these words were like releasing the chains that held me because I was immediately freed from the past and I am now living in love right now. Part of my life purpose is to be free, happy, fulfilled and loved. I’m glad I heard the words and decided to jump tracks into my time!

Is it time to change your timeline?

Worth living for

It is an uncomfortable truth that some people look at their lives and think they have nothing worth living for. 

There is an awful amount of pain and totally unnecessary suffering in this world and at moments it can seem like it is way too much to bear.

I speak from a place of personal knowledge.

Although we know that death comes to all of us – and way too soon, it always seems - some people make a choice to end their own lives because they cannot find anything worth living for. This always makes me terribly sad. Because I am so familiar with the intense sense of desperation and feeling lost.

There is this particular spot in the Cotswolds that I will never forget because it nearly became the place I took my last breath.

Why am I still here? Because it wasn’t my time. Because I wasn’t sure my plan would work and that I may suffer. Because I was more afraid of death than I was of life.

Because I somehow grasped a strand of light and knew that there could be something worth living for. I didn’t dare to dream what it could be. I just felt it was really there.

Since that day I have had many high days and several low days. I have grown and discovered areas of resolve and skills I didn’t believe could exist in me. I have experienced such love that I shudder to think I could have missed this depth of joy.

The tears that made me see the light of my own life were heavy but I am glad they were shed because I know now, today, that  ... I am worth living for.

Acting at happiness

I used to act at being happy for a long time.

I didn’t know how to handle my sadness, so I just mimicked the happiness I perceived or believed was around me.

I sold myself the lie that busyness was the same as happiness.

It may not surprise you that the packaging of this untruth (as my father used to say) was unable to hold the sadness at bay.

There is always a crack. The real feeling comes seeping through. And all at once the happiness facade is like a broken window.

Now, I do have sad moments, but I have more happiness than I ever dreamed possible.

I know this is the truth for several reasons.

One of them is a simple thing. It is the look of peace on my face when I go to bed each night. As I leave the bathroom and reach for the light switch I have recently seen such serenity that I send a smile to my reflection’s heart.

I am happy. It shows.

Chasing the dragon

© MHM Sept 2005 Mount Rainier, Washington, USA

Where do you go when you get to the top of a mountain? You always come back down. Fact.

Every high is followed by a descent. As soon as you peak you are faced with a decline: you’re on your way back down.

What does that mean for my life? Does that mean I have to ‘settle’ for second best? No! Most definitely not. But to me it does mean that I have to have a touch of realism in my pursuits. I will continue to reach for my dreams and achieve more miracles as I progress, however, I have chosen to remember that some things can cause more damage than happiness.

Being exceptional is wonderful. But chasing dragons all your life is not recommended. There is no life insurance available and the benefits are, at best, fleetingly temporary. Mediocrity is not appealing at first – especially in some things, but it has a lot going for it: best of all, a better quality and maybe, longer, life. With more time and life I get to pursue more dreams and spend time with those who matter most to me. That’s my perfection. That is my dream.

If I constantly chase the dragon I know that I may never catch it, but it may get me.

What I have also learnt is that dragons usually bite – fatally.

Now ... Didn’t I do well? Clap your hands!

According to Howard Jacobson, author of The Mighty Walzer, some people never grow up.

Jacobson was talking on the BBC Radio 4 programme The Book Club on 2/1/11. He said that if anyone who is essentially a child in an adult’s body, were to “forever go on seeking applause” then he wasn’t at all sure if that person would be able to give genuine applause and praise to others. His prime example was if one became a parent and was then unable to handle the ‘competition’ for attention from their own children.

I guess that makes some sense.

In some respects I agree with him, but only if you have the desire to always be the centre of attention, the headline act.

When people are prepared to work as part of the chorus line – without which many shows would fall completely flat – then I think that there is justification in them saying, “Didn’t we do well? Clap your hands!”

The entire cast can then take a bow, join hands and accept the recognition for success, together.

Sometimes, it can be your time to stand alone, centre stage, accepting the applause.

There is a time for everything.

Ecclesiastes 3 v 1 – 8

¹To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

²A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

³A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

⁴A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

⁵A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

⁶A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

⁷A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

⁸A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

What makes you happy?

Simple question - what makes you happy?

Now look at the question, hear the question, feel it and then answer it to yourself and for yourself.

The way to do it is to realise that those four words are about you and your happiness.

Those words are not about what other people say makes them happy.

The question is not about what society measures happiness by. Happiness can be measured by material success but the financially wealthiest people on this planet all say that it is not the things that they have that makes them happy, it is something quite different.

Their happiness is unique to them.

Your happiness is unique to you.

My happiness is unique to me.

There is an area of research called positive psychology that has investigated the means to happiness and one set of global findings have concluded that happiness falls broadly into three groups, a) being comfortable with who we are b) relationships with family, friends and colleagues and c) being able to make a contribution. We all want to have a sense of purpose and meaning in life.

What is your purpose and meaning? What makes you happy?

Find it. Do it. Live it.

Be happy.

(Although writing makes me happy, I know I really should find some time to sleep as well! All this staying up into the middle of the night is really not the healthiest way to live ... I need to regain some balance to enjoy my happy state all the more. I’m off to sleep now. Hope you are happy!)

Greatest desires and greatest fears

If my greatest desire is to be known, why do I find myself hiding from those who want to know me?

I am lying to myself if I continue to hide – I don’t really want to be known.

If my greatest desire is to find a purpose in life, why don’t I start the search?

I am insincere about my desires if I do not begin to follow them.

If my greatest desire is to find someone to love me and understand me for who I am, why do I hold back from sharing who I am and what I think?

I will not get understanding if I don’t share some information about myself and how I work.

If my greatest fear is about being alone, why do I find myself hiding from those who want to know me?

I will fulfil my greatest fear if I continue to hide.

If my greatest fear is never realising my full potential, why do I find myself resisting opportunities to shine?

I will never grow or expand my brilliance if I continually reject the chances I encounter.

If my greatest fear is failure, is that why I never get started?

I will never know success or failure if I don’t try. I will never learn that failure is a growth and learning opportunity.

Sometimes I think that my greatest desire is ... desire and my greatest fear ... is fear.

Paradoxical? Possibly, but also true.

We all often desire things and are fearful that those desires will be fulfilled because ... what will we do then? Start to desire something else? And never reach a state of satisfaction?

Maybe we are comfortable with the concept of desire as an abstract theory not an actual reality. Therefore we desire desire and fear fear thus keeping them both at a safe distance from impacting on our lives.

At the same time we get a taste of fulfilment from the desire and a keen sense of the fear also keeps us alert.

Obtaining the things we desire can give us a sense of being out of control. By denying self we may believe we have desire controlled. Desire makes us feel helpless.

I think that because we fear losing our comfortable unfulfilled states of desire we never fully embrace the brilliant reality of having the desire satisfied. We become static.

We remain in self-fulfilling prophecies of continual unsatisfied desire and perpetual foreboding fear.

I am moving out of Static City ...

I’m leaving fear behind and moving on into desire. It feels good.

It's just hell!

When you love something obviously horrible it is usually because that thing is a temporary substitute - a lesser evil, if you will - for something much worse. This could be anything from facing hidden physical and emotional issues to smoking. The loved object (or place) brings a relief that is missing in the other situation. Your mind knows that you always have to return to hell so, as a temporary measure of relief, you focus on enjoying the road to hell instead of remembering hell itself – and, in comparison, it feels just great!

So, how do you leave both degrees of hell behind?

Some things are not as easy to do as just getting up and walking away; if they were we all would have done it many moons before now.

There are many ways to make a change. One way is to do it a step at a time, at your own pace but always in the correct direction: away from hell. Like Lot’s wife you may look back occasionally – I often do because even the terrible things bring some kind of familiar comfort – but you have to keep going. You really have to keep going.

Even in the bleakest of times: the human spirit remains indomitable and in there somewhere is the will to survive and thrive. Each of us has vast untapped resources of courage and strength. We can do it. We deserve to do it.

We deserve the freedom and happiness that really is available to us. We deserve to find something better than hell to love.

I’m doing it.

I’m on my way.

Architects and Interior Designers

Architects conceive and create the most amazing structures. All around us we have evidence of magnificent constructions that have emerged from their ideas; they range from bungalows to mansions, chapels to cathedrals, from country roads to super-highways.

Each is individual and wonderful as itself.

Each of us also has a starting point, a blueprint that we can adjust. We make changes each and every day.

We are all architects.

Every single person is the architect of their own life.

We are also interior designers.

We decide how to fill our lives. We choose the content of each day.

Our lives, as with newly constructed buildings, are like empty rooms. They are without character and purpose until we decide what colour to use, what furniture to fill them with, and what identity to bestow on them.

The canvas is in your mind. You direct the process and the progress. Enjoy your creation today J

Shore leave is over

Sometimes we are reluctant to make a change because everything is not ‘just so’. We reason that we need to prepare A, B, C all the way to Z before we can start on the way towards our dream.

These are the excuses that we all often use that stops us from fulfilling our individual dreams. “The time isn’t right, everything is not in place. I need to do this first ... That needs to happen before I can start ... I’m waiting for ...”

Now, some of these reasons may well be valid but it is my belief that the majority of them are excuses. Excuses that are created from that place of fear that lives inside of us. That place where the seed of doubt has taken root and where, on these occasions, we allow the lack of belief in ourselves to grow.

Sailors who want to reach another shore still have to get in the boat and leave the relative safety of dry land even though they are not assured of the weather ahead of them; they learn to read the signs of the sea and the sky and they adjust the resources that they have with them to use the wind and the waves around them to their best advantage. If the wind is not moving your sails in the right direction you can always use your oars. Different tools in life develop different muscles. Sometimes what looks like it may be working against us may well be helping to manoeuvre us into the position we need to be in. It is possible to make headway in the most inhospitable climates. This is not the time, like some sailors of old, to desert our dreams and revel in the distracting excesses of a secondary life. This is not the time to take a leave of absence from our dreams.

It is time to be the wind and the oars in your own life. Choose your own life course, do not allow yourself to drift into something that you do not like, do not want, and will never enjoy.

If your dream lies on the high seas then shore leave must end now.