These are my musings and observations on my daily life, loves and the laughter that are all a part of my experience of living now in the shires of England.

Sunday, 6 June 2010

Wars and warriors

Wars and Warriors. These are not foreign words to us, they are, sadly, familiar everyday terms that are often viewed in a negative way. And in the same way as people reclaim things that have been stripped away from them I am reclaiming these words in a positive manner.

I am a warrior. I am a warrior because I have been through several personal wars. I have been through them. I have survived.

Like many fighters before me I sometimes suffer from shell-shock after the battle. I am often weak in my will and this shock has manifested itself in my life in various ways that can, in the harsh light of day, be seen as abuse. My way of hurting and protecting myself at the same time may be different to yours. There is work abuse, food abuse, sexual abuse, drug abuse – we all reach for something to numb the pain of reality in a cruel world. But I have realised that being cruel to myself is not a good path to take as I am just replacing one battle with another different one that I will still have to fight another day. I’ll either have to fight against it or succumb to it, and the desire within me to achieve my dreams will not rest, so I have to fight.

With success after each conflict I learn tactics that enable me to defeat other skirmishes before they have laid their foundations in my life.

It is with great joy that I announce that I am a warrior who is fighting for my life, the way I want to live it!


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