These are my musings and observations on my daily life, loves and the laughter that are all a part of my experience of living now in the shires of England.

Wednesday 23 June 2010

Lessons to be learnt

I make excuses about why I am in that same old familiar position again, especially when I know the internal dialogue that I have already had that warned me against getting to the very spot that I am in now.

My life is full of fragments. Nobody knows them all but me. Not even the person closest to me really has any idea. All the people in my life see pieces, different pieces a fresh aspect of the whole that is me.

Here I am. At this place, now.

While waiting to revisit the past I realised with sadness that I am like a spectre chained to old haunts. I am somewhere that I don’t want to be because I no longer get pleasure from these visits, I am desperate to banish the hold of this personal millstone in my life.

The strength to move comes from somewhere deep inside of me. As I leave again I feel both victorious and desolate. The glory comes from being strong enough to leave again – with minimal damage, and the desolation comes from the fact that I was ever in this place again.

2 comments:

P.D. Gourlais said...

I love this! Well said! "My life is full of fragments. Nobody knows them all but me. Not even the person closest to me really has any idea. All the people in my life see pieces, different pieces a fresh aspect of the whole that is me." I have often felt this way and it's nice to actually see that you were able to articulate it. As for the place you're at again, with difficulty, I say to you, "Have Courage!" Because you are wonderful and deserve to wear a badge. In my view, there are few who come along like Marj. :) xo Peedee

Marj said...

My daughter made me a peace symbol badge this weekend because she says I make peace everywhere. I'm liking the badge theme at the moment :-)

Hugs xoxo

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