These are my musings and observations on my daily life, loves and the laughter that are all a part of my experience of living now in the shires of England.

Saturday, 30 July 2011

Flood barriers

When your heart has been flooded with emotion and you really can’t take any more there is a tendency to hastily erect barriers against the deluge. The only problem here is that these temporary structures may soon become permanent fixtures in your emotional landscape.

How do I know? This has happened to me.

I did it to myself. I knew that I did it, but I forgot about them as time went by because I got used to them; they felt comfortable.

I guess it’s because of my experience in building my own barriers that I went into the bridge building industry. Now, I have tried building bridges. I have even destroyed some bridges. But the barriers around my own heart now have weeds entwining the decaying links.

There is a secret gate that I use every now and then to venture out into the world, but I have found myself scurrying back to the safety of my space. When people approach me I sometimes pretend that I’m not in, or that I don’t see them. This approach makes them give up and go away. I didn’t want anyone to have too easy access to me. When I did that before it really hurt.

However, I have called in the contractors and the barriers are coming down.

It may be a long job as the foundations have become entangled with the weeds, but it will get done.

... I see daylight.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Still here...Mellow

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