When you prepare for an event every part of your body is anticipating it. Then it happens. You find that it has passed and marvel at the ease with which you handled it, especially after all that build up.
Then, when you least expect it, like when you are saying goodnight to your child for instance, things fall apart.
Unbidden tears start to form in the corners of your eyes. Just one at first, then another in the other eye, then both eyes start to compete in the rush to expel water. You try to hide or disguise the renegade tears as signs of tiredness. Quickly wiping them away and trying to keep an even light tone of voice you slip away from the beautiful child falling asleep in the bed.
Well, that’s what I did anyway.
Then when I’m alone, and she is fast asleep I let the barriers down and really let things fall apart.
That’s better now.